Age is just a number! Really?
My life has taken a drastic turn since splitting with my ex girlfriend.
A drastic turn to all things happy!
I have met some wonderful people these past months and developed friendships that (even though new) will most likely last a very long time. My phone is busy and I’m pretty sure I’m developing something akin to Carpal Tunnel syndrome from texting. I always have somewhere to go and someone to go with. THIS is actually the life I’ve always wanted. I feel welcomed, wanted…a part of something that is larger than me.
But…EVERYONE IS YOUNGER!
I’m starting to believe that all Edmonton lesbians are 27 and under. I haven’t met one person my age. If they exist then they are hiding under a rock or they like to nest at home. I nested at home while married to a man for 12 years; I hid under a rock AND in a closet for the past few years.
I enjoy this new life of mine! However the balance is difficult sometimes. I’m not 25 and I can’t party every weekend all weekend..I would most likely end up in the hospital suffering from exhaustion! I have put forth a great effort though. It just boggles my mind that I’ve lived here for four years and there was this whole other world going on around me that I had never even heard of and just because I met the right people at the right time, my life has changed!
I spent Canada Day weekend at a cabin with so many wonderful people and in all of my years that one weekend ranks up there with the best!
Getting back to the age thing because that really is the point of this blog…I just tend to ramble.
What is the line between too young and too old when dating or hooking up? Is there a socially acceptable age difference in lesbian world!?
All of my friends say age is just a number. But really, do they really think that way? I am older than the internet, older than the DVD player, older than the cell phone, I remember Atari, I have dialed a rotary telephone, I grew up watching Full House and Pee Wee Herman and owned a shit pile of cabbage patch dolls with hair made of wool.
I loved 80’s hairbands in the 80’s and I love 90’s music now! Last night I saw a picture of my mom at 18 and it was me at 18. I am her at 35, I will be her at 56. It’s truly mind boggling! All of these years melt by; we spend so much time being busy, too busy.
Then before we know it…we’re OLD.
As for balance, I’m still working on it. I go through these stages, which I call my bipolar moments. One day I feel so happy and excited about life and everyone and everything in it; I feel truly blessed. Then the next moment I still feel truly blessed and I am happy but I think…WTF am I doing!!!? I should be home baking cookies and cleaning my house, perhaps knitting a scarf or partaking in a game of scrabble. I wonder are people really looking at me and thinking that it’s pathetic that at my age I am out and about? That I found the best little pub ever called Hooliganz and that all of my friends are younger?
I guess some will. Some won’t. My job is to not care. My job is to always have balance between my social life and home life. It’s kind of like being two different people sometimes. I think the only thing left in the way of ultimate happiness is to let go of worrying what other people think.
I just need to let it go and live as is for as long as I so desire!! I’ve actually learned some valuable life lessons from my younger peeps.
Having a happy life outside of the home also keeps me happy at home. Don’t get me wrong I am HAPPIEST when I am home snuggled in my bed like a mom sandwich with a daughter on each side of me! That will never change. But the overall feeling of happiness that comes from having a full fantastic life spreads over everything like a blanket. My life kinda is sunshine and rainbows.
Please don’t roll your eyes at my optimism and cheery outlook!
I have stress and bills and work stuff. WE all do. But every day I really do make a choice to be the best version of me I can and when I fail (because I do!) I just try again! Also it helps to immerse yourself in Melody Beattie‘s books, she is amazing motivating and somewhat brainwashing!
So is age really just a number? Do people not give a shit? Is the age old rule of “half your age plus seven” still applicable in lesbian land?
I don’t know the answers but one way or another I will find out. I’ll just keep skipping along in my world of rainbows until a time comes when I can’t! Instead of feeling somewhat bad about being 35 I should embrace it! Right? I’ve had years of life experiences and mistakes and moments that led me to be who I am today!
Also being the oldest is sometimes interesting, people tend to think I am older therefore wiser. SILLY people.