Ten Easy Tips on How to Be A Feminist Kill-Joy At Social Events
1: Invite everyone out to a “Heel Burning Night”. After all, high heeled shoes are weapons designed by the patriarchy.
2: If someone uses a gender-specific pronoun, cut them off by politely throwing oranges at them.
3: Spice up an old t-shirt with a simple, iron-on transfer photo of your vulva.
4: A neat wedding gift is wearing a black suit and when anyone asks why you’re crying, simply reply that you’re mourning the loss of another soul to monogamy.
5: Whenever somebody gives you a “thumbs up”, take a moment to explain how problematic erect thumbs are, as they imply that whoever receives this phallocentric gesture should grow a penis.
6: Before seeing a movie, ensure it passes the Bechdel Test.
7: Don’t hesitate to whip out your auxiliary hair dreadlocks if they aren’t already showing. Your friends will be green with envy! (Pro Tip: Cover the dreads with GLITTER)
8: If a friend invites you out for dinner to a non-vegan restaurant, be sure to mail them a copy of The Sexual Politics of Meat. Carol J. Adams will be so proud!
9: Diva Cups are awesome party favors! And don’t discriminate against people without uteruses, they can be used as wine glasses!
10: Dedicate one day every month to rescue homeless cats and bring them to your friend’s houses. Don’t worry, they are guaranteed to be excited by the lovely surprise!
This is absolutely brilliant! I have to say, #3 and #9 are my favourites!