October 6, 2007
Five years ago, at this very moment, I was at the salon getting my hair done. At 10:30 am, I was at my parents house getting my make up done. Five bridesmaids, one ring bearer, one flower girl, mother and father of the bride …. and me…. were getting ready.
Five years ago today I got married. Five years later, I am sitting in my kitchen writing this post with a calm sense of peace and love, drinking coffee and checking on my four-year old daughter as she plays in the living room.
A year ago today, I was in a very different place. I was feeling an insane amount of anger, confusion, pain, anxiety and mourning.
That was the first anniversary my husband I had as a separated couple.
No matter how you look at it, divorce sucks. You lose half your family and some friends, even when your separation is as amicable as mine was.
When we got married, we were both committed to each other and making “it work”. We had dreams and plans just like every other couple does. As it turns out, our dreams were different and our plans went down different paths.
I know the relationship he and I have now is confusing for more conventional people. We’re working on being genuine friends, I adore his girlfriend and we continue to make goals together as parents, rather than spouses.
He was one of my biggest supporters with my relationship with Terah and not once did he ask me to explain my sexuality, which is something I will forever be grateful for. We want each other to succeed and be happy because if we’re healthy and happy individually, we can come together to raise our daughter as a team.
October 6th will always be a day of significance for me and, as each year passes, it will be easier to make peace with the past and move forward as a family.
Perhaps I’ll tell my story about my lady love and how we got together …. but not today. Also, this was my actual wedding cake.